# 80: Experiencing Grief
Story behind the Passage
Emerson’s essay “Experience” counts as his masterpiece. I do not care. To me, all of his writings are masterpieces. I have read all of them, I think. All my books by him are filled with plenty of marks and notes. There is hardly any other author, except for Thoreau, maybe, an Edward Said, whom I have studied in such depth. Actually, “studied” is the wrong verb. I would rather call it internalize. And the line that I have internalized by heart is the one on grief.
My Learnings
“I grieve that grief can teach me nothing, nor carry my one step into real nature.” To people who are not into Transcendentalism (I guess, most of you), this line might sound really strange — as most lines by Emerson. Nature in Transcendentalism has a special meaning. The adherents of the 19th-century movement believed that nature would give them access to the “Divine” which they did not really believe in at the same time. This is also why the first part of the sentence, the one on grief, makes no real sense — while making very much sense in the Emersonian way.
Emerson always quoted without quoting. I remember very well how deeply my professor in Philadelphia was into him and his somewhat paradoxical writings. I have to admit, without wanting to sound intellectual, Emerson’s essays are demanding in some way. I guess, if you have no real clue about the man and the era he wrote in, his writings do not make much sense. In any case, this sentence about grief might still reach the heart of the literary layperson. We all experience grief once in a while. This is what life is like, unfortunately. Especially in times of Covid, more people than usually experience grief because they have lost someone.
Emerson had also lost “someone,” whom he loved dearly. His son had died two years before the essay was published. Counter to most of Emerson’s essays, “Experience” indeed was an essay in the first place, not a lecture. Still, it is too near-sighted to assume that the grief that Emerson is talking about only refers to the death of his son. In fact, words in Emerson always carried different meanings. So, “grief” probably also meant a state of being for Emerson that had been there before the loss — and one that continued for a long time after. Maybe even forever.
I do not think that “grief can teach you nothing.” Again, it is highly likely that Emerson did not mean it this way anway. However, from my perspective, grief is a very powerful feeling; even a catalyst. I would not even call it a “feeling” if I just knew a different and more appropriate concept right now. Grief is so powerful because it is so deep, so relentless, so persistent. It becomes part of you. But it also opens up doors; doors that remain hidden if you remain untroubled by grief.
I wonder a lot how this entire generation will deal with the grief that will certainly follow the pandemic. It will be a subtle grief, I think, one that is latent but strong. Even though a pandemic is not a war, this period will leave its mark on us. There will be many people left behind. There will be many people grieving — for people they lost, for things they had to let go off, for companies they had to close down. There might also be more poor and homeless people at some point. These things take time till they fully become visible. The only thing I dearly hope is that they find comfort in grief.
Even if grief might not teach you anything, this is a good reason to overcome it. Not by ignoring it. But by taking it along when climbing new mountains. There is always some sense in anything that might not make sense at all. I just have to tell myself that this is what grief is meant to do. Yes, I do think it brings us closer to nature. Nature knows no grief. It simply is.
Reflection Questions
1) What does “grief” mean to you?
2) Would you ever read essays like this one by Emerson from 19th century American literature? Why/not?
3) Which role does nature play for your spiritual well-being?