# 528: Lost
Poem
Woke up
All of a sudden
Many awakenings
In a row
Had to get away
To find myself again
Was lost
For many years
Took the wrong turn
Listened to the wrong people
Heard the wrong things
In their words
Was it their fault?
Was it mine?
Wrong question
It is not about faults
Or blaming people
Blaming myself
Life needs to be lived
Going back is impossible
Finding yourself
Means finding now
I am not the one
From three years ago
I am not the one
Three years from now
Lesson learned
To listen to my feelings
I muted them
Amongst bad energy
When healthy and whole
Bad energy does not matter
But it did in my case
I entered the fog
Lost sight of the sun
I thought I felt
But I only thought
Until I lost
What was inside
It was there all the time
But I suppressed it
Until the feelings broke
Like a volcano that spits
Golden reddish lava
Flying in the air
Flowing down the rocks
First quickly
Then never ending
Where am I now?
Who am I inside?
Found old things again
Discovered new sides
Will still take time
To recover from the trip
And to really heal
What had not healed before
The illusion of healing
Tricks you many times
You discover a wound
And you find the source
But after you’re done
Life brings you back
To the same old wound
And rips it open again
No regret necessary
Because it is a gift
You grow wiser and lighter
You smile more and shine
The love inside unfolds
With every step back
You just have to see
The good in being lost
As soon as you see it
You’re already new
The past can be named
From the perspective of now
Have no idea
How I made it through
Almost lost it all
Except for myself
That is the beauty
Of spiritual growth
You learn not to fear
What cannot be lost
The treasure of your heart
Gets unveiled with every layer
Like an onion you peel
You take off everything
That covers the real
The peels are not useless
Every cover has its purpose
Every layer hides fear
Fear is the driver
Of conflict and pain
Of sorrow and darkness
Do not worry about it
It will come again
We are all humans
Fear is a lovely companion
To show us the way
Getting lost is a gift
No travel company offers
You have to seek it yourself
To create your reality
Those who follow
The common path
Forget how happy
They were as a child
Not knowing where to go
And who to be
Just living every day
As their heart told
Not all children are free
I know it well
Still we can find
The lost child inside
We can hug it and say
“you’re safe with me”
Getting lost is a way
To find that child
And see it in those
Who guided you there
It is not up to others
To show me new ways
It is up to me
To feel it inside
And so much joy
Unfolds in that freedom
Finding your new self
In the old person
Adventure for the soul
Just remember one thing
Never regret
And never blame
There is a purpose
You cannot see
Before you are willing
To get lost on the way.