# 434: BOOK OF THE WEEK — “The Making of a Royal Romance”
Story behind the Book Choice
It took some pondering before finally deciding to read this book in class. After all, “British University History” sounds like a serious thing. Why read a love story you could easily find in the tabloids — especially since most of my students have probably done that already? Still, I think that these famous (royal) characters in history and present are the door openers to understanding how institutions such as the prestigious universities of the UK tick. And especially in the case of St Andrews, where I could personally collect some memories a few years ago, I found the story of William and Kate quite intriguing. So, it was, after all, my personal interest in learning more about the couple’s early beginnings which made me choose this for class. One might say that this is not enough for teaching a book that lacks any literary fame. I would say that this is a just cause. If you love reading what you teach, at least you have some excitement to pass on to the students. If that flame catches them, who knows….
1. Mummy
The death of Lady Di was what has become known as a “John F. Kennedy moment” for me. These are moments when you remember exactly where you were when you learned about an event. For my parent’s generation, this event was the death of John F. Kennedy. For me, this was Lady Di’s sudden passing. My moment of learning the news was very unspectacular. I was in bed. I slept in and turned on the television. It was a summer morning and my parents had gone to our small garden already. And that is when I saw the images of the car wreck in Paris. I will never forget this image. And I will never forget my next thought: The fact that the two young boys had just lost their mother. William is about my age. I remember this very clearly that I spent the entire day thinking about what they might be doing now and how they might be feeling that very moment.
The thing I will never forget either is the day of the funeral. I clearly remember the images of the church, how Elton John played “Candle in the Wind” and I also remember the scene how the two boys in their dark suits walked behind the coffin with their mother. And on that coffin were the flowers and the letter with “Mummy” written on it. It was heart-breaking and since that moment, I had a special relationship with these two princes, even though I will most likely never meet them in my life. But it impressed me so much how they coped with this situation in their particular life circumstances as princes and with so much composure. I can see the shy look of William’s face, always looking down a bit — just like his mother had always done. And I knew that such an event ends your childhood. You grow up within the blink of an eye.
I remembered these scenes again and again when I walked behind the coffin of my father not even ten years later.
William and Harry were “role models” for me in some ways.
If they had learned to live with their grief, so would I.
2. The reality of poverty
This passage describes one more reason why I admire Lady Di so much. Not only did she endure much pain caused by the fact that being the wife of a prince forces you to not be yourself all the time but she never gave up walking her own path; holding on to what she thought was essential. This also and especially applied to raising her children. She knew they would never grow up as “normal” children, no matter how much William is described in the book as always having wanted to be a “normal” guy. Still, she used every opportunity to at least show them what life looks like for “normal” people. And that includes all the disgusting sides about war, illness, and poverty. Of course, we do not know how much of a media spectacle was behind these visits of her and her sons to the shelters and hospitals. But it definitely left an impression on them — one that would for ever determine what they would pursue in their own work as royals, no matter in which official function.
I just wish that we could take our state leaders and top executives to these places, just like Diana did.
Their perspective would change tremendously.
And maybe their actions would too.
But there is little hope that this will happen.
Pain, loss, and suffering are just not on the coaching agenda of those who wait to find out what life really is about when it is almost over.
3. Enjoying the present
I know what it is like to only be living in the future, to be overplanning everything. It made me sick, that is why I stopped. The problem is, I have not found back to the middle path yet. I have been living some years now without planning anything. That is not satisfying either. Human beings need to plan in order to have something to look forward to, I think. But I totally understand what Nicholl is writing about William’s preference to take one day at a time. If you want to not face your future all the time and if you try to not think about the shadows of the past, then the only option you have is to focus on the present. If there is one big gift death and grieving gives you — it is this. You know that life can be over within a day. And you know you can lose everything from one day to the next. If you think of this all the time, however, it will ruin your life. But not thinking of it will steal the wisdom that losses teach you.
That is why using the present moment to just BE there with all the love in your heart is the best way to face the future.
It sounds cheesy but the prince probably knows.
And he has accepted that life is not about making choices all the time.
It is about growing into the person you are supposed to be.
Whoever decides over this.
Reflection Questions
1) Do you remember where you were when you learned of the death of Diana?
2) How do you think about Diana taking the boys to shelters and charity projects? Do you think it shaped their notion of “normal” life or is that impossible if you are being raised behind palace walls?
3) Do you like thinking about the future and making plans or do you prefer enjoying the present moment?