# 223: Doing What You Love
Story behind the Passage
I keep thinking about Steve Jobs today. Especially people who are capable of doing many things, and who actually do them, can cheat themselves very well. I mean, I am talking about myself here. I do so many things because I think they are great. The reason why I think they are great is because they help people — somewhat. The point is: They are not the ones that I enjoy most. But somehow my brain can trick the rest of me. For a long time, I run around thinking that this or that is actually the right thing for me. I am completely convinced. But when I come back to my real “self” again, back to this peaceful state of mind, I realize how much I am suffering — how much I am making myself suffer because I am actually not doing the things I love.
Whenever I realize this again, I think of Jobs’ words. He was a tough, i.e., not an ‘easy,’ leader but he was very clear in his decisions. And that also means that, if you find out what you are doing is not right, you have to be brave enough to admit it to yourself and to others before doing more damage. Of course, this sounds like an either/or again. It sounds as if one could not do various things and some of them feel more in line with what one is really supposed to do and some do not. But for people like me, that is not satisfying. I am deeply aware every day that our days on earth are limited. Quite a long time ago, I made the decision to use every day for doing the things I love. This does not mean that it is all a piece of cake. Doing the things you love can cost a lot of work, no doubt. But it is the only way to make other people happy. That is the trick that we tend to forget very often. You do not make other people happy because you do something which you think will help them. You help them by helping yourself, i.e., by doing what you love and thereby finding happiness and peace.
Does that mean that happiness depends only on what you do?
No, of course not. Happiness is a state of mind that you can have without doing anything. Still, if you do not want to leave that state, you better not do anything that you actually hate. If you do that, you force yourself to lie to yourself by telling yourself that everything is so great. In fact, it is not. And this “not being great” makes you hate yourself. Not because you are doing something you do not love but because you are not honest to yourself and to others. This is how you end up leaving the peaceful state of mind, the one in which you truly know who you are. And whenever that happens, you hate yourself even more. Self-hatred will turn into ‘other-hatred,’ for sure.
Why you would do that?
Go, ask Steve.
My Learnings
“As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.” Jobs was absolutely right. I think, everyone of us who has found this thing that we love can agree. So, why am I even talking about this again? The reason is simple: There are cases when everything is crystal clear and you know exactly what your ‘mission’ is. But life makes you unsettle again and again. You might think this does not happen, and maybe it is a sign that you are not yet there, like really there. But this does not refer to some activity. It refers to your state of being. If you have reached the point where you see everything pretty clearly, it should not happen again that the circumstances and/or other people cause you to leave this sphere again.
But it obviously happens to me again and again.
I think, today, I had a major breakthrough when it comes to “matters of the heart.” I think, I have understood very well what causes me to leave my peaceful realm again and again. And the reason why I am writing about this today is a sign that I have not completely understood yet how important this insight — this breakthrough — is. I am not sure if Jobs experienced it this way since he continued being very harsh on himself and to many others. But there might be no way to assess this for outsiders anyway.
What I mean is that being hard on yourself is something that ultimately makes you suffer in one way or the other. This will show because you start punishing others, e.g., by being overly critical, ungrateful, and unloving. The truth is, you are mad at yourself and you are punishing yourself with every word you utter. But you do not admit this, of course. Instead, you rage more against others and the rage towards yourself increases as well. That is the spiral that most people end up in. I think, despite all personal predispositions, the louder people speak up for all kinds of injustices, the more this shows that they are hating themselves for something they are trying to cover by saving the world.
This is hard, I know, but I do see it in my own story.
If you are deeply content with what you are doing, you have no desire to care about anything or anybody else. You do not care too much about saving the world. This sounds egoistic and like the opposite of social orientation, I know. But the truth is, the opposite is the case. Whatever you do that is your thing, it will bring people to you and they will be happy because of what you do. This is because what you do makes you happy, satisfied, and deeply peaceful. Any work that is created in this state of mind will have impact. There is nothing more that a human being could wish for. Not even the wish to live longer. Life is what it is and the only way that you can enjoy it is right now, right here.
In writing.
Reflection Questions
1) Have you found what you love? What is it?
2) Do you think Steve Jobs would have said what he said in the speech had he not been through fighting cancer already?
3) What are your thoughts about the effects of doing what you love instead of forcing yourself to do things that (might) help others?