# 175: Chaos Communication
Story behind the Passage
Chaos is the thing that I am most afraid of and it is also the thing that constantly keeps occurring in my life. As with anything, this is a matter of interpretation, of course. But when spending so many hours in video conferences, talking about many different things that are all important and worthy of being discussed in detail — it only feels like chaos to me. Hence, I had to look up a book about chaos theory today. I feel like the incarnation of “applied chaos.” When reading the passage, however, I do not think I have any idea of what chaos actually is. The only terms that jump at me are “intermittency” and “deterministic.” I totally identify with this on a day like today. Intermittency means no stability and deterministic means that this state of chaos is probably going to last.
I do not want this.
Maybe I should just accept it.
Probably, there is some way out that I cannot see yet.
My Learnings
Talking for hours.
Thinking a lot.
Listening even more.
Responding quickly.
All the ideas
Circulating in the mind.
Like racing cars
In the dark.
Every minute making it
More complicated
More chaotic
More exciting.
Excitement is the drug of chaos.
Every new thought an arrow
That flies in space.
Never landing.
Where is the goal?
Where is the purpose?
Where is the boundary?
Where is hope?
With every sentence,
With every slide,
With every note,
With every message.
More chaos.
More nothingness.
More fear.
More anger.
If chaos were a friend,
what would I tell him?
Reflection Questions
1) On which days do you feel like chaos is taking over?
2) Did you ever learn about “chaos theory” in school? What do you remember?
3) Does the pandemic still feel like “chaos” to you or has it become “normal” already? Who or what affects how you see the situation?