# 174: Coming of Age
Story behind the Passage
It is quite revealing to learn that everything has a time. All innovations have their time. I always think back of Steve Jobs in this context. Had he invented the iPhone or even the Mac many years earlier, there would not have been any impact. I mean, yes, you can speculate if some inventions ever happened much earlier because the respective technology is only available whenever it is available. Still, there are innovations which could theoretically be built and produced but simply do not thrive because they are too early, i.e., before the point at which people recognize the potential of the respective innovation. Another example is “New Work” by Frithjof Bergmann. He wrote the book On Being Free more than 40 years ago but only recently did the concept celebrate a breakthrough.
The reason why I am thinking about all this is because a similar thing is happening to me right now. There are things that have been sitting on my computer for more than five years and only now do I feel that they are ready to be unpacked because people are listening. The interesting thing, however, is to think about why this is. Is it really the “time” — the era, the social and political circumstances, the level of technological advancement, etc.? Or is it simply me? Is it the way that I look at these projects now and the way I talk about and “sell” them to others? Has it simply taken me all this time to learn enough and do enough to now approach these “projects” with a different mindset — to really believe in them myself?
I tend to think that the latter plays a crucial role but the former is not irrelevant either. Of course, I know, there is probably no clear answer to this self-imposed puzzle anyways. But all this, of course, made me look at the definition of the bildungsroman today. My life does feel like a bildungsroman (coming of age) right now. I am looking at the past chapters in a way that all this happened to somehow just make me grow up to the point where I am now. And this also means that growing up takes a lot longer for some people than expected. Or maybe we all keep growing up all the time?
My Learnings
“Widely used by German critics, it refers to a novel which is an account of the youthful development of a hero or heroine (usually the former).” Wow, so much in one sentence! Yes, I really think so. The first interesting aspect is, of course, the fact that the very term “bildungsroman” is so German that there is no other concept for it. In other words, it is a German trademark — our export hit! Honestly, I am not joking, the fact that Germans have shaped this concept means that we as a nation seem to be particularly obsessed with growing up. Maybe this is why Germans tend to be seen so “serious” around the world? Or maybe that is just my image of the image others have of us?
The second comment in parentheses, i.e., that the bildungsroman is usually about a “hero” strikes me as well. The point is — if you think of your own life as a novel and you look back, you probably do not see yourself as a hero, right? Since we are talking about novels here, however, there usually is a hero — even if that concept is just being used to describe the protagonist. You know what, I think, right now that I am really feeling like I have achieved some state of maturity (maybe not the final stage but at least one beyond the previous level), I do understand how you can start thinking of yourself as the hero of your own story. I am not saying this in any narcissistic way. I am saying it in a grown-up way. By the time you are able to see and appreciate, even celebrate, your entire life as it has happened so far, you are also able to accept that you indeed are the hero(ine).
I am not that obsessed with the gender aspect, by the way. Everyone who deals with the publishing business knows one thing: every book that makes it to the market is the result of some marketing effort — and be it just the act of sending your manuscript to the publisher (it is highly unlikely that your book gets sold this way but it can happen, of course). So, what I am saying, the fact that more men have ended up as heroes in the literary canon does not mean much. It simply means that men made more efforts to get published. It does not mean that women wrote less or were simply rejected more often. I am sorry to say this but I still mean it this way. Yes, I know there is male bias as well and some people did trial runs by sending in manuscripts with male and female names and one got accepted (the male one) and the other one not. Still, things are a bit more complicated and at the same time easier. So, let us just say that we are all heroes and have the chance of looking at our lives that way — women and men.
“It describes the process by which maturity is achieved through the various ups and downs of life.” The focus here is on ups and downs, of course. But if this really is true, I mean, if maturity requires the ups and downs, I wonder how anybody could be so misleading as to teach you as a kid that, by the time you turn 18 or 21, you are a “grown up.” I mean, by that time, most of us are just starting our downward careers (unless, of course, we had a really shitty childhood). So, what I am saying is: it is little wonder that I, in my late thirties, am just discovering the feeling of really growing up — even of reaching maturity.
Now, what all this has to do with “education” (“bildung” in German) remains oblique. I mean, in the case of the novels from different countries that are mentioned in the paragraph, education does play a role in all of them. But you also have all these other examples of poor kids (e.g., Charles Dickens’ work) where formal education is not really the key. So, the concept of bildung in the bildungsroman is not that much tied to formal education as it is about “life education” in all its shapes. For me, personally, I do think, however, that formal education is something that does shape you forever. It is irreversible. This applies to informal education and practical (life) learning as well, for sure. Still, I am only slowly realizing that for me, personally, the level of education that I reached via official degrees will determine my future in a lot more ways than I previously thought and considered relevant.
In order to actually see and appreciate this, I did have to go through some more growing up these past years. So, I do think that the things I am starting now did not materialize before for a simple reason: I was not ready — I was not mature enough. It feels different now and it also feels like seeing the hero in yourself is a necessary requirement for actually starting something big. Again, I mean this with all the humility that reflected people should have learned in the course of their “bildung.” What I am now curious about, however, is how I will write the next chapters of my bildungsroman. Maybe I am still at the beginning. Maybe there is a lot more growing up waiting for me. Maybe I am already in the middle of something that will allow me to help others grow beyond their self-imposed limitations…
Reflection Questions
1) Was there ever a specific moment in your life that marked your “growing up” stage or was it a slow process?
2) Do you think men are better at marketing — themselves and others/products? Why/not?
3) Which bildungsroman do you remember reading?