# 17: Feedback Overkill and Gut Feeling
Story behind the Passage
Just this evening, I was participating in a virtual women’s founder event in Switzerland. In one of the fireside talks, the topic of getting feedback on one’s ideas came up repeatedly. This was when I decided to write about this today. However, now I am frustrated because I had a very specific passage from a founder book in mind that I wanted to discuss in this context. But I simply cannot find it right now! I do not even remember if it was Zuckerberg, Musk, or Hsieh who shared the story I that am thinking about.
When I went through the books again and again now, I at least found a passage that came close to the one I had wanted to discuss. So, this is a compromise today — a short passage but not a bad one at all. The sentence is from the Zappos book again. I talked about it before because this book really means a lot to me and my own founder story. Still, I am a bit sad about the fact that this is only day 17 of my blogging challenge and I am already repeating myself here when it comes to the choice of books. Somehow, I had this weird idea that I could avoid any repetition by talking about a different book every day. But that would not be realistic anyways, I guess. So, let’s talk about this one sentence today which nevertheless has great value for decision makers.
My Learnings
“Let’s sleep on this for a while…” In the virtual fireside chat today, the founder also mentioned “gut feeling” as the crucial decision-making assistant. Hsieh in the Zappos book underlines this. I could have chosen any founder book, I think, because the importance of gut feeling is crucial for most founders. But the problem is: “Listening to your gut feeling is a lot more difficult than it sounds.
Especially people who live very much in their head have particular problems when it comes to listening to this inner voice that we call gut feeling. The point is: When you are stressed out, tired, and/or permanently on adrenaline, you simply do not manage to feel anything. Unfortunately, however, you are hardly aware of this. Instead, whatever other people tell you, especially when they are “experts,” becomes your gut feeling. If there was only one person advising you, this would still be manageable. This is not the rule, however. Just think of the many different voices that pop up in your head when thinking about important decisions. And every decision a CEO/founder makes are important. Otherwise, he/she is the wrong person dealing with them.
For me, gut feeling has always been my number one decision criterion. That is why I am completely lost when I lose connection with it — with myself. And these phases come up again and again. No matter how often I tell myself after making a “bad” decision: “Next time, this will not happen again. I will go with my gut feeling right away. It would have been so easy this time already…” — It usually happens again that I lose track of my gut feeling. Usually, the results of the alternative decision do not end up in a total disaster but they still cost energy.
But there are also these moments, when I do hear my gut feeling but consciously decide to violate it. These are the worst decisions. Again, they do not even suck that much because of the outcome of the decision. They suck because I exactly know the reason why I consciously decided against my gut feeling. You might call it over-ambition. But you might just as well call it ego. What I mean by this is that this idea of: “Yes, I feel it is not the right thing to do but I need to push myself to leave this comfort zone which my gut feeling determines and this will help me grow even further.”
Actually, this does not make sense but it is very typical in a world that stresses continuous and highly accelerated learning so much. I think, being surrounded by hyper-learners can be a great thing in terms of motivation. But it can also lead to a “cult” that exerts much pressure on oneself. So, learning turns out to be a competition. For companies, this is self-evident because learning triggers motivation. For individuals, however, I think that there can indeed be too much learning if there are no sufficient breaks. All this aggravates the temporary lack of gut feeling.
“… if we still feel good about it in a week or two.“ When I read this the first time, I thought: Wow, really, “a week or two”? Commonly, the saying is “sleep on something one night.” Why a week? When first reading this thought, I stumbled over it and found it exaggerated. Today, I totally agree but I do think that everyone needs to find his/her own rules and stick to them. I usually have the “one night” rule. So, if a decision comes to me, by rule, I sleep one night on it. Of course, this does not refer to minor decisions in daily life but mostly to business decisions.
Then there is another rule that applied to things/decisions that have come up before — again and again, sometimes even for years. This is when I do not trust my “one-night gut feeling.” I usually wait for a few days and if, at the end of these days, still no clear result “feels right,” I try everything to simply postpone the decision. Again, this is not meant to be a guideline for procrastination. But sometimes, not deciding anything really is the smartest decision. If life wants something from you, the issue will come back.
Especially in these moments when gut feeling is not feeling right and you have decided to wait, you are particularly susceptible to all the voices around you that might “confirm” whatever your gut feeling might have said in the first place. But all this will lead to even more trouble and away from your inner core and a healthy self-confidence. So, ideally, if you make the decision to wait for a week or even longer, this decision is what counts. It frees you from thinking about the issue all the time. This reminds me of quote I once read which really struck me because I know that it is the hardest thing for a person like me who always tries to push and accelerate things. Especially in times of Covid-19, however, it cannot be denied.
‘All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.’ Blaise Pascal
Reflection Questions
1) Which role does gut feeling play in your decision-making practice?
2) If you happen to have co-founders — how do they make decisions? (E.g., based on facts and figures, rational analysis, gut feeling…)
3) Are you sometimes giving people feedback who do not ask for it?
Learn more about Silke’s 365 Days Blogging Challenge
https://medium.com/@silkeschmidt_32637/prologue-startup-story-learning-dda4ba9d3bd9