# 152: Two-Shot Rule
Story behind the Passage
“Thank you for your understanding.” You know that phrase, right? How often do you hear it when you actually have little to no understanding? Yes, this is exactly what I need to talk about today. There is a simple story behind this topic. I actually violated one my own rules today but I came up with a new one instead. The rule that I violated was: saying “no” more often. I am doing a lot better at this nowaways but not well enough. Still, I decided to complement my existing rule catalogue with another rule that I will call “two-shot rule.”
When I punched that into Google just now, English pool rules showed up at the top! I like that very much because I love pool. I have my own miniature pool table at home and pool has been a fascination since I started practicing as a child (I could barely look over the table at the time). Well, I had no idea a two-shot rule existed in pool but it is worth taking a look, I guess. My two-shot rule applies to business and to life — hence, it also applies to playing games. As with any rule, it only makes sense if you stick to it. What comes first, however, is the drafting of the rule. And this is what I actually want to encourage: Make your own rules — do not let others make them for you.
My Learnings
“5. In the event of a foul, the opposing player receives two shots and these shots carry (i.e. if a ball is potted on the first shot, the player still has two shots).” So, I have not revealed the story yet. Here it is. What makes me write about all this today is fairly unimportant but still relevant for my decision-making. It was a simple call I received from a business; potential clients or business partners. We had scheduled a meeting severalweeks ago and last week they called to tell me that we had to postpone it. It was not dramatic, it was only a 30 minutes shift— alrighty, could do that. The appointment was scheduled for tomorrow. This afternoon, I received another call. Well, I did not actually receive it, I got the voice message and the e-mail later. So, now, they canceled for tomorrow and suggested a date next week.
Are you sensing what I am getting at?
In this e-mail, they did not say “thank you for your understanding.” They said “we apologize.” But it does not really matter, actually. What happened then was that I did make it possible to meet next week. And now, I am a bit mad at myself because of this. I should have said “no” — to the new appointment and to the meeting as a whole. Just like that. You know, I am not that conservative or inflexible on princinple. Still, when I schedule meetings, I keep them, unless something really major happens. If I still have to change a meeting, I do so once. That is it. And if I think about changing it again — then this is a sign that the meeting is not important to me.
So, obviously, the very fact that they changed the meeting again signals that the conversation has no/low priority for them. And that is perfectly fine. You know what? Why would we even waste time talking? You know, it is not my priority either. And this is exactly why I am a bit mad at myself because I should simply have canceled the entire thing. I gave them a second shot already. This is it. Enough. I make my rules. At least, I have gotten a lot better at it. Well, it kind of happens naturally. The more execution-focused you get, the less you run after people. Either things happen or they do not. That is it.
In this case, and this is why the analogy to pool is so funny, they committed a foul once and I gave them another shot. That should be it. I am tired of saying “yes.” And this is really what is behind the rule-making issue. You need to learn to say “no” — to anybody, including clients or partners. It does not matter. Rules apply to everyone. And, actually, people you work or deal with — all of them are your clients in some way. We all do things for other people and no matter if they pay us or not, there is no reason to just say “yes” to everything, especially if you are getting a bit annoyed already.
You can read hundreds of books and blogs about saying “no,” of course. So, I intentionally did not want to get into this here too deeply. To me, it is more about having more specific rules. Of course, saying “no” more often is also a rule in and of itself. But the two-shot rule is mine. I think, everyone deserves a second shot, I do not want to become too tough. But I have had enough. I see that the most important things happen — I mean, things that immediately bear results, at the first shot. If it takes so many more steps of even coming together for the first time, there is usually no point in the exchange from the start.
Is this radical? Is this making a mountain out of a molehill? Is this too speculative?
Maybe.
Still, the learning about the one-shot works best is not just a result of my reflection today. It really is a life lesson, especially in the role of an entrepreneur. Make your own rules and stick to them. And let other things pass without even thinking about them. Then more good things happen. Life lets you know when things are not meant to be. Just accept it and do your own stuff. That is all. Less time wasted, less worries, more fun.
Two shots — that is it.
Reflection Questions
1) Do you have any self-made rules that help you say “no”?
2) Are there any limits to the saying “everybody deserves a second chance” according to your perspective?
3) When did you last hear the phrase “thank you for your understanding”? Did you really mean it?