# 11: On Being Fearless
Story behind the Passage
Today I talked to two wonderful people who are changing the world in their current leadership positions. I know, this sounds like they are heroes and all of us are just “normal folks” who will never get to change anything. That is not true. It is not what I am suggesting. We all have the potential to bring about change but there is one tiny thing that makes the difference between people who actually bring change to a large number of people and those who reach fewer people or hardly anybody. That tiny difference is simple: members of the first group made a decision to take risks.
The topic of risks is what made me choose today’s passage. We also mentioned it briefly today in the conversation we had about an upcoming project. Germany is not the best place to talk about fear anyways. The German “angst” has even made it into the English dictionary. Our history has turned us into a people filled with fear and shame. The shame is related to our past. The fear is related to the future and the possibility that the past can repeat itself — no matter how much we do to prevent this. When looking at world politics today and the fact that psychos are ruling powerful nations, this possibility is not a mere fiction. After all, our averseness to risks is deeply ingrained in our entire culture and economic structures. Or do you think that the German love of insurances is a mere coincident?
People who bring about change naturally take more risks simply because change involves the establishment of something new. And new things are scary. That is also programmed into human nature — across all cultures. Whenever we see something for the first time, it scares us because it could turn out to be life-threatening. But thankfully, there are these people who for many different reasons, e.g., personality, upbringing, and life events, have a different mindset and response pattern. To them, most new things make them curious . And with every new thing they discover and learn about, they embrace the value of change even more. This is how they end up as active change agents who challenge the status quo.
My title “On Being Fearless” today reflects this less risk-averse nature. It plays on Arianna Huffington’s book On Becoming Fearless… in Love, Work, and Life. I remember I read this book for the first time for one of my classes on successful founder women in the U.S. And I also remember how much the students were impressed by it. Many of them wrote about the book and Huffington in their reflection papers. Since most of my students are women and from international backgrounds, they could identify easily with the Greek-born journalist and founder of the Huffington Post. I simply want to focus on one line from the passage above which also reflects what touched me in the conversation I had with the two game changers today.
My Learnings
“CHANGE OURSELVES, CHANGE THE WORLD.” There is a very simple but powerful lesson behind this phrase. Some people learn it early in life. Some later. Many never. It is the lesson that you cannot change anybody else — at least not from the start. It is simply impossible. The only sphere of influence that you have is your own body, mind, soul, and the things you can touch — physically and emotionally. Remember the famous lines spoken by Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing?
“This is my dance space. This is your dance space. I don’t go into yours, you don’t go into mine. You gotta hold the frame.” — Jonny
So, is that not the opposite of what Huffington is claiming? No. I strongly believe that changing ourselves is the only step that can trigger change — and it is the most difficult one. And here we come back to the topic of “taking risks” that I started out with. Huffington discusses this issue mostly in the context of women and gender equality. Of course, that is a hot topic and will continue to be hot for many more decades, if not centuries, as it seems. But that was not my primary impulse in our conversation today on the topic of risk taking. This is what I said:
“Letting other people with a completely different mindset, different strengths, and even different interests into your life involves huge risks. If you decide to closely work with these people, you will be forced to leave your comfort zone. It will be difficult and there will be many arguments. But only if you go through this, you will experience that kind of change that can happen when you take risks. A new world opens up and you truly see things from a new perspective.”
These sentences very much summarize what I mean by “changing ourselves.” And the nice benefit of this deep learning is that it can be transferred to practically all other realms of life, including business. The problem still is the one of implementation: Even if you are noticing a change in your own personality — how can you actually convert that into “changing the world”? My answer is very simple: You do not have to do anything — at least not consciously. This change that you have gone through will automatically change your actions. Remember what I repeat again and again in most of my writing: all actions are consequences of decisions. And from that new perspective you are going to make different decisions. Since nobody lives in a bubble, especially not entrepreneurs, you will automatically create impact on other people and thus — the world.
If you want to extend that impact, the natural consequence of my logic is that you need to be more accessible to people and your decisions need to serve as an inspiration for other decision makers. Again, I am not saying you should actively influence their decisions by saying “do this” or “do that.” No. I am insisting on the big impact that you as an example or “role model” (a human use case) have on others. And by talking about your experience, you multiply your own sphere of influence. So, even though I am saying above that you do not have to do anything, talking about your experience — in which ever format — can be added.
This sharing personal change knowledge is nothing else but the original meaning of “teaching.” As far as all my smart online dictionaries are telling me, the word origin contains “showing, even “giving birth.” So, as someone who has personally made the experience of change, your communication can trigger others to make a similar decision. In other words: They take the risk of leaving behind old thought patterns, preferences, and norms.
The result of all this might not be “fearlessness” but fearing less is a good starting point, I think. It will not turn Germany into a gambler’s paradise but it would certainly speed up some changes that have not taken place simply because the new and unknown appears to be too risky to too many people from all walks of life. Digitalization and the trust in technology that is already available but not fully used certainly is one example. Even though I know that many women will not like this — I do think that Huffington is right by focusing on the aspect of fear when it comes to gender roles.
Different from her, though, I do not care much about who might be more fearful — men or women. I simply encourage all of you to be more fearless. It is worth it if you feel that you should give it a try. There is this wonderful book by Bronnie Ware entitled The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing. (Yes, I know, I planned on writing about one book only in each post… Still, I just cannot ignore this thought right now). The author worked in palliative care and collected the wishes of the patients who were dying. The top regret reads as follows:
“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” — Bronnie Ware
Reflection Questions
1) In which situations in the past were you ‘fearless,’ according to your own definition?
2) What do you think about this “changing the world” paradigm? Is it helpful for motivating people or more of a burden?
3) Read the top regret from Bronnie Ware’s list again.
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